How To Tell Better Lies
Hubert W. Downchild, Resident Rapscallion

April 2, 2007

                                                                                  Why tell lies?

There is no reason to just tell a lie but there are lots of reasons to tell a good lie. Never tell a bad lie because its not good for your reputation. Its not even a good idea to tell lies as a means of making a profit. For business purposes, the truth usually has more utility. Also, its never a good idea to tell lies when the outcome could result in doing time. Lying is never good if the result is a loss of freedom. Before telling a lie, always do a mental cost benefit analysis. If you must break the law, don't do it very often, because getting caught is a number's game. Break the law enough and you will be a yard stomper.

The best reason to tell lies is that lies are what people want to hear. In many activities, the person who is told the lie, will draw it out of you and and would not accept the truth anyway. It is a supply and demand thing like in economics. In conversation there is a big demand for lies and the expert lie teller is simply filling a void that would be filled regardless, usually by someone with less scruples than you, the expert. The expert lie teller is like the expert hunter. Just as the expert hunter does not kill out of cruelty, the expert lie teller tries to avoid hurting others. There are many good reason for telling lies. Whole populations within every democracy will only vote candidates into office who tell real good lies. The best reason to tell lies is that people love hearing them and the expert lie teller is always loved and appreciated. Tell lies, but be honest with yourself. Remember, that if there is ever a significant demand for the truth, I can help you with that also.

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Hubert